Soul Filling

Every once in a while I have this feeling of absolute contentment. Not that I usually go around in a perpetual cloud of discontentment, but every so often I feel, a momentary fullness, when all is right with the world. It is a mixture of melancholy and some deep memory of the past wakened by a smell, a color, a sight, a taste, or a song. It is different for each of us. That little seed from days gone by that make the past come back to life and form some umbilical connection with the present creates this overwhelmingly satisfying feeling. Like a lingering scent wafting in from the past to tempt the present, to fill the empty moments of the present with its delicious aroma and a heavy fog formed of the intermingling of past sensations and present circumstances. It is like meeting a resurrected friend come to tame today’s loneliness. Suddenly the road that seemed long and hard takes on a well-traveled, comfortable look. For just an instant, I know that I am on my way home and the journey is satisfying. It is usually a fleeting sensation, lasting but a moment, but that moment contains all the colors of life, my life. What lingers on after that moment has passed is a sweet taste, like remembering a dear friend’s smile, or the smell of grandmother’s kitchen, like cinnamon and vanilla, the warmth of a fire, and sound of my name lovingly called. Those are the moments melting away, like a tasty morsel on my tongue, yet leaving their mark behind. Those are the moments when there is no doubt of the goodness and fullness of God and the life he intended for me to live. That satisfied feeling comes from knowing without a doubt that the path of life takes us full circle, we are always on the way home. It is truly beautiful.

For some, though, that feeling never comes; those smells do not evoke joy and satisfaction. Instead, somewhere along the way they jumped lanes and ended up on a road they were never meant to travel. No warm smells that whisper of Christmas past, no grandmother’s cookies to melt in your mouth, no deep and satisfying fullness. Instead confusion fills their heart, this feeling of never belonging, of not having a home is more overpowering than any other thing in their lives. Only uncertainty, loss, and loneliness fill their souls' crevasses.

I am satisfied with my path, the journey I am on; it is colorful, beautiful, and tasty in every way but it is most filling when I practice the ability to take up a lonely hand, guide a lost soul and be a comforting presence. Nothing more. I just love to be there. I do not have all the answers. I do not know where you are going and do not need to know where you came from. I do not know what you are meant to do. But I will gladly keep you company, walk down the lane with you a bit, offer you a cup of coffee, chat comfortably with you as old friends do.